In class we’ve been reading and talking about secure attachment and the benefits that it provides to early brain development, and as a basis through the secure base for learning, exploration, positive self-concept, and executive functioning. According to Hammer, attachment theory is defined as “biological instinct involving the development of a strong nurturing bond between mother and baby formed during early infancy” (Hammer, 15). This made me think of my childhood and how my relationship is like with my parents. Although I am the middle child or the one that gets ignored in the family I think that by securing my attachment with my parents has helped me feel like I was never abandoned.
Based off of the film in class, we viewed in our observations of what sensitive parenting would look like. We used words in class like responsivity, bidirectionality, eye contact, warmth, smiling, language, and reciprocity. I also notice these actions appear when I see how my mom treats my baby sister that is currently seven-years-old. Not only is it just with my mom but I notice that I also started showing these behaviors especially when I’m recording her. At first she didn’t know that I was recording but because I gave her so much attention, she was so happy and kept playing and being a goofy baby. I think that because of how my parents had raised me had a lot to do with how attached I am with my siblings as well.
As a toddler and maybe even now I’m clingy toward my parents. I remember that I wanted to and did go everywhere with my parents. Then one my parents told me to stay home which made me sad and angry at them for not allowing me to attend their graduation. Even though I didn’t know what a graduation was at the time all I knew was I wanted to follow my parents. Then my uncle saw me crying and took me to their High school graduation which made me happy again since I saw parents and got the change to see them graduate from High school. My mom would also emphasize the importance of being patient and looking out for my siblings if there was trouble.
Also knowing now that from my childhood, my parents were extremely poor and yet they were able to find ways to help me achieve in life. My parents tried to communicate with my teachers and was always taking me to the library to check out some books to read at home. We would always take a stroll to the park and my parents never made me felt like I was poor. Its interesting for me to think about this, because if my parents told me I couldn’t get this because I’m poor than I would feel so defeated. Which made me thought of Khazan statement about “a child tumbling through toxic-stress cycle may have a brain that’s ready for a “dog-eat-dog-world””(Khazan, 2014). Its sad to think that a child would have to be this prepare for the “dog-eat-dog-world” at such a young age.
I think it is essential for parents to support their children in any type of way that they can. A time that I remember being supported was for my dance group. My mom and she would encourage me to continue my traditional dance group during new years or talent show. She helped me build confidence in my team and that I could do well during performances. Ever since then I knew that I could count on my mom for help. Although my dad didn’t really vocal his support for my traditional dance group since he was more worried about my academic achievement as an English second language learner. My dad would do the behind the scene stuff like showing up to the day of my performances, paying for my dance clothes and at the end of the day he’ll tell me that I did a good job. Overall, parents should bond with their children and be supportive an any type of way that they can.
References
Hammer C. (2012). NCT Research Overview: Parent-Child Communication is Important From Birth.
Khazan, O., (2014, June 26). The Atlantic. How Supportive Parenting Protects the Brain.
Houa Lee Blog 