My response to Simon Sinek is that his perspective about millennial is very simple minded and some of his points were contradicting. This made it a little confusing for me to understand exactly what his thoughts were on millennials in the workforce. I also want to keep in mind that this is coming from a CIS White male giving a general overview about the overall millennials which also gives me more reasons to disagree with his statement that has a one side outlook. Since he broke it down to four categories; parenting, technology, impatience, and environment. I will do the same and keep in mind this is coming my experience as a millennial Hmong American women with family background of Refugee’s. I will explain from my perspective of how intersectionality plays a role into my millennial life and hopefully understand why Sinek statement has irked me to respond.

The first category is parenting and Simon defined it as parents making their children believe that they can do everything. Is it so wrong to give your children hope for the future? And to make them believe that they can make a difference? Children are still young and innocent. They should not be born as an adult until they learn from their mistakes. My parents gave me hope but that didn’t stop me from wanting to learn and build relationships with my peers. They taught me to defend myself and my peers when there is discrimination or injustice happening. Not only do parents give children hope but he assumed that all millennial parents bought their child’s success. Which belittle the parents that have tried to overcome obstacles of speaking and learning English to support their children. It also belittles the student such as myself that put all their energy into completing their homework with the help of parents and siblings that are in the process of comprehending the English language. Their hard work was not acknowledge and that is not okay with me. We should not solely blame parents for everything when something has gone “wrong” or out of our comfort zone. If it was so simple, for parents to buy their child’s success then what is the point of having an education or getting a college degree?

Second, he mentions technology and how millennials appear to be the only ones that does not understand how to put their phones away. Once people become attach to their phones, I don’t think anyone can stand to put them away. This is the reality of having new technology and learning how to use them. It becomes addicting just like how Snapchat was trending with creating short videos by a push of a button and how instagram gives people creative ideas with pictures. I understand there are time and place that people do not need their phones out. We have new ways of working that revolves around technology. According to Demerouti, the new ways of working “increase three kinds of‘overload’: information overload, work overload, and social overload”(2013). Since technology is expanding it is expected for millennial to learn the new materials as it is being develop which creates information overload. This puts a hold onto processing the new information that is being given. There’s also work overload that is given to a group of people to work on a project or more. However, not everyone is contributing to work on the project which creates stress for any employee that is stuck with the group. I guess this makes sense why millennial are lazy, they are feeling burnout from information overload, work overload and social overload.

A part of me understand that cellphones can be a gestures of being rude or not paying attention. However, I believe that people have their own reasons for having their phones in their hand at all time. Sinek believes that the only way to have a genuine work relationship is by having a conversation with the person. There are some people that are more willing to share about their personal life more than others. A respected employee should understand that having a phone in their hand should not define their character, integrity or values. If any of the employees were curious or had concern, they could always ask them directly by pulling them aside. For example, I could be one of the most hard working employee in the company but the moment I picked up my phone to answer a family emergency text during my meeting, my work ethic is being degraded. Why is that? Why should we devalue our employee or in this case millennial, work ethic the moment they answer their phone? Not everyone looks at their phone to see how many people have liked their post on Facebook or Instagram. I do agree that the constant use of information and communication technology (ICT) has created an unhealthy habits (Berkowsky, 2013).

He also mentions that my generation are impatient and that millennial do not see the mountain after the summit. Has it ever occur to him that people are realizing that working in an office or corporate place just isn’t for them and that they’re not being lazy. It is not as if they are using their social media accounts and checking for updates on Facebook (Berkowsky, 2013) but are trying to work and deal with the stress that comes with work.

Lastly, he mentions the environment and how its the corporate environment fault for lacking leadership. Sir, What are you talking about? I’m assuming that he was trying to say this was all his fault to be the good cop by saying that he understand the corporate messed up. Demerouti mentions the New ways of Working by allowing workers to choose their hours and this could be very beneficial to people that are working far away. (2014). I am surprise that my classmate’s parents sent them this video.

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References

Berkowsky, R. W. (2013). When You Just Cannot Get Away. Information, Communication & Society. Vol. 16, p. 519-541. 

Demerouti, E., Derks, D., Brummelhuis, L., and Bakker, A., B. (2014). New Ways of Working: Impact on Working Conditions, Work-Family Balance, and Well-Being. ResearchGate. 

Willrath, B., “Simmon Sinek – Millennials in the Workplace.”Youtube, 28 Dec. 2016

In my family, it was normal for my grandparents to live with my parents. I grew up in a home that has grandma taking care of my siblings and I while my parents were at work. My grandpa would sometimes play cards or watch The Price is Right with me while my grandma cooks lunch. I thought it was normal for all families to have their grandparents live with them. That was until I started school and told my friends that my grandparents still live with me but theirs live in a nursery home or in their own house.

My grandparents recently moved out of the house two years ago and it is still strange for me. I have too many good memories of my grandparents living with me for twenty-one years that it sucks to see my grandparents move out. I’ll miss the days that I’m watching an Asian Drama and my grandma sneaks out of bed to watch it with me as I translate them. Then my grandpa walks to the living room to lecture my grandma to sleep but ends up watching the Asian Drama with us until he’s reminded about the time. My grandparents are around eighty year’s old but I’m not sure if this is accurate since they really didn’t care about birth days and only knew the time people were born around seasonal changes like the harvest time or rainy days. But anyways they’re around eight years old and always acted like they can do things on their own without needing my help to carry groceries or mow the lawn. As horrible as it sounds, I was convinced that my grandparents were super heroes. I know right, I was easily fooled. 

Just how powerful for families are health-related changes in aging family members?

Sara Hohn Qualls

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I started to became more aware of my grandparents health three years ago when I lost maternal grandfather. My mom was grieving for a long time which made it difficult for me to ask her about my grandfathers death without crying. I also didn’t expect to loose him since he was healthy and had no illness. His death had affected multiple families that knew him and the strangers that he had helped. It was after my grandfathers death that my mom and her siblings started being more cautious of my grandmother. Since my grandmother lives in California, my mom would call her more often to talk and check on her health. She would also remind my grandmother to take her medications on time and to ask her grandchildren for help. I also made a couple of phone calls to my grandmother and I was surprised that she did not mind having her children’s parenting her on taking her medications and slowing down. She would often joke that she’s forgetful and thats why she’s glad that my mom calls her to check up on her. My grandfathers death took a stroll on me since I’ve never lost anyone to death before and I wanted to be the strong one for my family. Which also back fired since I wasn’t able to grieve. 

I never knew how fragile my grandparents life were until I saw my (paternal) grandpa lying weak in the hospital bed. The first time, he fainted at a nursery home and was rushed to the hospital. I visited him he told me “tsis txhob txhawj, Kuv tsis mob loj.” in translation it means don’t worry, my pain is not big (deal or emergency). The doctor had advised if they can put a camera down his throat to see what is happening to his body on the inside that caused him to faint. My immediate reaction was to do the procedure but my grandpa only cared about coming home. Since I am a girl I was not allowed to have an opinion on my grandpa’s medical procedure. Therefore my dad and uncle were the ones that were deciding with him about doing the procedures that the doctor had recommended. They agree to not proceed which made me worried but my parents reassured me that they were going to keep a close eye on my grandpa. This made me less worried.  The second time, happened after they moved out. I got a call from my cousin at 11pm about grandpa slipping in the bath tub and was rushed to the Emergency room. 

Who looks after the caregivers?

Gibbs

My grandpa is the one that holds the family together. He is the one that is in charge of making family decisions and settling disputes between families or outside of families. It was difficult for my grandpa to accept other people’s help. The only help he accepted from me was to translate to the doctors and thanking them for helping him. He finally accepted the procedure of having the camera go down his throat (I forgot the term/name for it). Since I was still an undergrad, my parents told me to focus on school. I decided to visit my grandpa on the weekend to make sure that he was doing “good” like the doctor said. As I got to my paternal grandparents home, I wanted to do everything for him. I wanted to cook, clean, ask him about his medical procedure and if there was anyone I need to file a complaint about for disrespecting them while I wasn’t there. My grandpa didn’t want me to do anything. He just wanted my company and to have someone to talk. I stayed with him. Then he told me that my first cousins had gotten the medication refilled and picked up new ones. I decided to make a few phone calls to ask the pharmacist about the medications since they were confusing and as much as I wanted to help my grandpa. He wouldn’t let me. 

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Which makes me think of Gibbs question as to who looks after the caregivers? Since I am a female not everyone in my family tells me everything that goes on. It really sucks that I don’t know how else to help my paternal grandpa and that they won’t let me. However, I am in charge of taking care of my mom’s health. My mom is around forty years old and although she’s still young I want to make sure that she is healthy. I’ve set up all of her health appointments and have gone to most of her appointments with her. Since I don’t trust some Hmong translators because they’re just really bad at explaining things at clinics that I decided its better for the both of us if I just go with her. Recently my mom is diagnosed with Ulcers and is taking medications to kill the bacteria. My sisters and I have been in charge of cooking meals for the family since the medication makes her drowsy. I also remind my mom that she needs to take the medicine everyday around the same time. My younger sister role is entertaining my mom when she is having a rough day and so far it works for her. Sadly my brothers aren’t actively involved in taking care of my mom but I do remind him that he needs to keep an eye on mom. 

References

Gibbs, N. (2010). The Coping Conundrum. The Longer we Live the More Important Elder Care Becomes. But Who Looks After the Caregivers? Time

Qualls, S. H. (2013). “Caregiving is Just What Families Do”: Challenges of Aging Families and Health. NCFR

In class we’ve been reading and talking about secure attachment and the benefits that it provides to early brain development, and as a basis through the secure base for learning, exploration, positive self-concept, and executive functioning. According to Hammer, attachment theory is defined as “biological instinct involving the development of a strong nurturing bond between mother and baby formed during early infancy” (Hammer, 15). This made me think of my childhood and how my relationship is like with my parents. Although I am the middle child or the one that gets ignored in the family I think that by securing my attachment with my parents has helped me feel like I was never abandoned. 

Based off of the film in class, we viewed in our observations of what sensitive parenting would look like. We used words in class like responsivity, bidirectionality, eye contact, warmth, smiling, language, and reciprocity. I also notice these actions appear when I see how my mom treats my baby sister that is currently seven-years-old. Not only is it just with my mom but I notice that I also started showing these behaviors especially when I’m recording her. At first she didn’t know that I was recording but because I gave her so much attention, she was so happy and kept playing and being a goofy baby. I think that because of how my parents had raised me had a lot to do with how attached I am with my siblings as well. 

As a toddler and maybe even now I’m clingy toward my parents. I remember that I wanted to and did go everywhere with my parents. Then one my parents told me to stay home which made me sad and angry at them for not allowing me to attend their graduation. Even though I didn’t know what a graduation was at the time all I knew was I wanted to follow my parents. Then my uncle saw me crying and took me to their High school graduation which made me happy again since I saw parents and got the change to see them graduate from High school. My mom would also emphasize the importance of being patient and looking out for my siblings if there was trouble. 

Also knowing now that from my childhood, my parents were extremely poor and yet they were able to find ways to help me achieve in life. My parents tried to communicate with my teachers and was always taking me to the library to check out some books to read at home. We would always take a stroll to the park and my parents never made me felt like I was poor. Its interesting for me to think about this, because if my parents told me I couldn’t get this because I’m poor than I would feel so defeated. Which made me thought of Khazan statement about “a child tumbling through toxic-stress cycle may have a brain that’s ready for a “dog-eat-dog-world””(Khazan, 2014). Its sad to think that a child would have to be this prepare for the “dog-eat-dog-world” at such a young age.

I think it is essential for parents to support their children in any type of way that they can. A time that I remember being supported was for my dance group. My mom and she would encourage me to continue my traditional dance group during new years or talent show. She helped me build confidence in my team and that I could do well during performances. Ever since then I knew that I could count on my mom for help.  Although my dad didn’t really vocal his support for my traditional dance group since he was more worried about my academic achievement as an English second language learner. My dad would do the behind the scene stuff like showing up to the day of my performances, paying for my dance clothes and at the end of the day he’ll tell me that I did a good job. Overall, parents should bond with their children and be supportive an any type of way that they can.

 

References

Hammer C. (2012). NCT Research Overview: Parent-Child Communication is Important From Birth.

Khazan, O., (2014, June 26). The Atlantic. How Supportive Parenting Protects the Brain.