For a long time I was against finding love online because it didn’t make sense to me that two people could have a real connection using dating apps or social media accounts. The only couples that I knew about were from my parents and grandparents. My parents met in person and it was my dad that made the effort to visit my mom everyday. They also didn’t have technology in Laos and so if men saw a women that they were interested in they would approach them by asking if they can be friends. This gives men and women an opportunity to test their friendship and see if they really like each other.  My family found love by meeting their significant other in person and are living a happy marriage. Therefore when I heard about online dating or dating apps its just so odd to me that people meet online, fall in love and get married. The process of being in a relationship online sounds so fast that its unbelievable for me.

According to one of the Tedtalk, The Beautiful Truth about Online Dating it was interesting to hear from the speaker say that the big difference about getting people to want to talk to you or to swipe right (interest) is how they present themselves on their profile. For example, one person could be very vague about their description by having short answers such as being identified as shy, simple, fun or outgoing. It doesn’t have to be these exact words but having a vague description on their profile makes viewers not want to initiate a conversation compared to someone that says something along the lines of  “I am quite shy and slow witted in the beginning but ramp up as I get to know the person, a professional who strives to better oneself, and believes life should be enjoyed with fun and laughter”. She mentioned that this gives a better image of the person’s character compared to having short simple answers or statements.

Since I still had my own bias that dating apps is not where you find love I decided to test this theory out by signing up on OkCupid. For the first week I made my profile really plain like the one mentioned in Tedtalk. I also didn’t want to share too much about myself because it was awkward. It felt like I was trying to date my phone but I did my experiment anyway. Then the 2nd week I got more descriptive and mentioned more about the things that I look forward to in a relationship and the goals that I have for myself in the long-run. This experiment made me questioned myself multiple times like what is the point of being description about myself if we were going to get to know each other anyway? Or do I really need to describe myself to these people? and Was this just a bad idea? 

As pointless as was for me to give a brief description of myself I did notice the difference between how people would interact with me. From my first week experiment there were people that showed interest in me and majority of men that were interested in my would tried to message me with a simple “Hi” or nothing at all. I also notice that there were more misunderstandings of my action. For example, if I was responding back to them, they would considered me to be officially dating them or that I had to be fully committed to this conversation. I literally talked to this guy for thirty minutes with basic conversation like “Hi, how are you doing?” and he was ready to be in a committed relationship. Which reminds of the article What Makes us Click: How Online Dating Shapes Our Relationships, that people “de-emphasis the importance of building a relationship”. Throughout my experiment I did felt that I was not able to build a relationship since the conversation was not genuine. This explains a little reason why I prefer getting to know someone face-to-face other than through apps. The online dating apps made me feel like people were more focused on shopping for the perfect personality that matches them. Which isn’t a bad thing, its just not for me.  Compared to my 2nd week there were more people that showed interest and responded more than a simple “Hi”. I also noticed that throughout my conversations on the 2nd week people were more descriptive and asked more creative questions compared to my 1st week. Instead of finding a romantic relationship on OkCupid I actually made new friends which is a type of relationship.

As against as I was about online dating I had a change of heart after my experiment since I was able to create some type of relationship through the online dating app. I am more opened to the idea that it could be possible for people to find love online. Since some of the process it takes to feel connected with someone sounds similar to finding love in person. For example, having to put yourself out there for people to want to introduce themselves or being shy about dating. Also, the more opportunities the better for people that wants to find love. However, it is still not for me

 

 

References

Roman, L., Brown, A., & Edes, A. (2018, January 02). What Makes Us Click: How Online Dating Shapes Our Relationships. Retrieved from https://www.npr.org/2018/01/02/572259115/what-makes-us-click-how-online-dating-shapes-our-relationships

TEDxTalks. “The Beautiful Truth About Online Dating” Youtube, Youtube, 27 July 2015, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRWPqwyukGY

 

During my class debate I was on the pro side of allowing laptops to be used in classrooms for taking notes. This was extremely difficult for me to argue for since I was actually against it. I remember the first time I hated taking notes on laptop was when I transferred to the University of Minnesota Twin Cities. It happened right after everyone was almost done taking an exam that a student decided to take out their laptop to work on an assignment. Honestly, I didn’t care if they needed to use their laptop, what I care about are the loud noises that was coming from the laptop while I was taking a test. It was like this person was pounding on  their keyboards and purposely trying to make me fail the test. Mind I tell you I’m a slow test taker, therefore this bothered me very much as they kept typing away in a quiet room.

Anyway, as against as I was to be on the pro side, I did find myself to be changing my thoughts on people taking notes on the laptop. during the debate, my classmates mentioned that laptops was more convenient for people to carry and has a better way to organize files compared to writing them on a notebook and not being able to read their handwriting. There would be Powerpoints posted online and it would be much easier for me to take extra notes and examples on the powerpoint. Sometimes I would use it to copy a graph of the Bronfenbrenner  Ecological model onto my notes on Google document since it is a theory that is still new to me. This makes it efficient for me to review my notes that are organized and to have a visual interpretation on my notes instead of me trying to create a sloppy version of the graph.

I know I am not alone in this when I say I Google a handful of terms when my professor is asking me a question or to do an activity. There are some days that I am trying really hard to stay awake for class and it just doesn’t work so I sometimes rely on Google to help me process the information. For example, I literally forgot how to spell rely and I had to Google this before I wrote it. As a student I think it’s best to use a laptop when I know that there are tons of notes that I would have to take during lectures. Also don’t take your laptops out when people are still taking a test, especially if you are mad nervous about the assignment, you are probably (most likely) pounding on the keys.